.
The beginning was horrific.
After dropping my husband off for work one morning
I returned home to a nightmarish sight…
what appeared to be a newly born kitten, lying in a bloody mess
near the step leading onto my front porch.
I was shocked to see that the tiny creature was moving..
impossibly alive.
A very premature birth..
Quickly, I reached down to rescue him from the swarm of ants
already blanketing the placenta lying next to him..
that’s when I discovered the umbilical cord
was still attached.
I severed it with my hands
and brought the tiny life inside.
I called him Bug.
Over the following 12 hours
I cleaned him
fed him, kept him warm
held him in my hands,
and loved him.
Sadly, it was not meant to be.
Bug was too premature..
not much more than a fetus, really.
Hairless, pink.
Eyes sealed shut.
Ears barely formed..
Incompatible with life.
I held him warm in my hands
One last time…
Minutes later
when I checked on him again
I saw that he had died.
12 hours..
From the moment I found him,
Until his quiet, peaceful death.
Still, I was heartbroken.
I wanted to keep Bug.
I wanted to keep loving this tiny animal
I wanted to give him a home
I wanted him to survive..
But, it wasn’t meant to be.
At the time, I didn’t understand..
I was not there to help Bug live,
I was there to help him die.
Bug did not suffer and die on the hot pavement,
exposed and alone.
For his short 12 hour life
He was warm and safe.
He was loved.
Goodnight, sweet Bug
You will live again..
in my paintings.