The Enemy Within and the Art of Fighting for Your Life

like clockwork 2

“Like Clockwork” by Michele Bledsoe

 

A couple of years ago, I experienced a home invasion.

I was alone when a man kicked in the back door and entered our house.

To make a long story short..

As we confronted each other in the middle of my living room

I did not feel fear – I felt anger.

And in that moment of fight or flight.. I chose to fight.

Eventually, we ended up in the laundry room where I tried to chop his face off with a pair of branch loppers.

He managed to stumble outside, shouted “Sorry, wrong house!” and ran for his life.

When I started working on The Secret Kingdom, I faced an even greater enemy…

Myself.

Not a physical fight, but an intensely psychological one.

This enemy had powerful weapons: Self-doubt. Procrastination. An arsenal of laziness, distraction and fear.

What was at stake was not the death of my physical body, but the death of fulfilling my life’s work. The loss of my creative life.

Every day I worked on my book was a fight to the death.

The day The Secret Kingdom was published, I realized that I had won… for now.

Truthfully, the fight never ends.

In The War of Art Steven Pressfield writes: β€œFear doesn’t go away. The warrior and the artist live by the same code of necessity, which dictates that the battle must be fought anew every day.”

This is so true.

Now I am fighting for the life of my second book.

Having lost before, it seems the enemy within has stepped up her game.

I am ready.

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18 comments

    1. Thank you, Gary.. we, as artists, are all family.. we must support each other in the struggle to be what we were meant to be. Here is another brilliant quote by Steven Pressfield that really hits home for me: “If you find yourself asking yourself (and your friends), “Am I really a writer? Am I really an artist?” chances are you are. The counterfeit innovator is wildly self-confident. The real one is scared to death.”

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I hadn’t thought of it like that, but you are so right. I haven’t written for a couple of monthis (on my WIP because I’ve been bummed out about my mother-in-law’s illness and added responsibilities to my normally dull routine. But soon I will be back on the battlefield, mugging my muse (as put by Holly Lisle).

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Yes, added responsibility and illness in the family is always difficult. Stressful, too. It is good that you will be returning to the battlefield “mugging your muse”. I am really enjoying your blog – keep up the wonderful work!

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      1. Thank you
        It will be awhile before I have any songs ready to post but I hope someday I will

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  2. Your about page is an attention grabber. I’m happy you stood your ground and was not physically hurt, those emotional scars are the hardest to heal, if they heal. Thank you for visiting my page, looking forward to following your blogs.

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