Dalmatian

Diary of a Hungry Dog

Many years ago, Gunther kept an online diary.

Because he was a dog, I did all the typing for him.

All these entries are completely true.

slide1

FOOD OR NOT FOOD

Current Mood: Hungry

sometimes i eat things that aren’t food. i ate a cassette tape, a bilbo baggins action figure and a stuffed alligator head. then i go for a ride in the car to visit the vet.

 

 

FLOOR TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

everything that falls on the floor is mine to eat. i can hear a crumb drop from the other end of the house. sometimes i find small pieces of paper, pen caps and furballs instead. i eat them too because they are on the floor.

 

 

 

slide12DIGGING HOLES

Current Mood: Hungry

i like to dig big deep holes in the backyard. then i stick my head in the hole and bark.

 

 

 

slide4EATING CACTUS

Current Mood: Hungry

when i was a puppy, i ate a row of aloe cactus. they tasted pointy. the vet said that the cactus didn’t hurt my mouth at all and that my fur was very soft and shiny.

 

 

slide11OUTSIDE TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i like to bark at pigeons. i eat birdseed and gravel in the backyard.

 

 

 

dog1CHRISTMAS TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i have a cat friend. last christmas she pushed a chocolate santa off the table and onto the floor for me. it had crunchy tinfoil on the outside.

 

 

gunthermanGARBAGE TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i like peanut butter. i like to eat things out of the garbage. i have one head, three legs and a tail.

 

 

 

slide5UNDERGROUND TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i can smell mushrooms growing deep under the ground. i dig them up and eat them and then i get in trouble.

 

 

 

birthday dogGOAT TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i chewed on my goat hoof all day long. it had peanut butter in it but i licked it away. i take hoofie outside with me. i hold it in my mouth when i pee. hoofie smells good and stinky.

 

 

001RECYCLED TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i ate dog food and some carrots. when i threw up the carrots were back so i ate them again.

 

 

 

 

 

me and guntherALLIGATOR TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i ate a taxidermy alligator head i found on the bookshelf. it was crunchy and tasted like a mummy. mama thought it was a chicken carcass or maybe one of the cats. she screamed and took it away.

 

 

JAN42008 001SHINY TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i ate a sheet of aluminum foil covered with chicken grease and crunchy burnt things. the vet said i would be okay, but to call them if i threw up or made sparks.

 

 

MONKEYTOY 010BREADY TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i found a piece of bread on poppa’s plate. i had to jump up to reach it. i ate it real fast. poppa got another bready piece to make his sandwich.

 

 

slide9REFRIGERATOR TREATS

Current Mood: Hungry

i push people into the refrigerator so they will give me food. i know that’s where the carrots live.

 

 

 

beggingBEGGING FOR FOOD

Current Mood: Hungry

this is my begging face. if i do this long enough someone gives me food.

 

 

 

My beloved Gunther makes a cameo appearance in The Secret Kingdom..

I miss him very much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Three-Legged Dogs and the Unexpected Blindness of Love

Gunther makes a cameo appearance in The Secret Kingdom. This performance became part of our routine whenever it was time to feed the dog.

It’s fascinating how people never seemed to notice that Gunther was missing a leg.

Since Dalmatians are not very common, and Gunther was tremendously friendly, we were often approached by a variety of strangers wanting to get a closer look.

Once, while sitting outside at a coffee shop, a man approached and asked if it was okay to pet Gunther.

“Yes.” I replied, “He’s very friendly.”

This gentleman crouched down to where Gunther was sitting and smiled. He stayed there for several minutes, talking and petting my happy dog.

When he stood up to leave… Gunther took a couple of hopping steps toward him.

The man was worried, “Oh sweetie, what happened? Did you hurt your foot?”

“He’s missing a whole leg.” I explained.

The man did a double-take.

Maybe he was distracted by all the spots.

Or maybe he suddenly understood how love is truly blind.

I never noticed Gunther’s missing leg, either.

To this day, four-legged dogs look really weird to me..

too many legs.

Mr. Crazy’s Lament

MrCrazysLament

My dog Gunther was my constant companion for 11 1/2 years. I first held him in my hands when he was a week old. Dalmatians do not have spots when they’re born – so he looked like a chubby white rat. Gunther was my beloved child.

Like most dogs, Gunther had many nicknames. Gumpy, Lumpy, Dog-head, Goonar, the seal-dog… and of course, Mr. Crazy. Mr. Crazy was what I called him when he was exceptionally happy – which was very often. He would burst into a room, flinging toys.. tongue flapping and wagging his tail like a propeller. Watching him prance and leap around the house filled me with joy.

I call this painting “Mr. Crazy’s Lament”

It was what I was working on while making the decision to put Gunther down.

It was the first time a blackberry appeared in my paintings… since then, there have been many others.

I remember sitting on a stool in the kitchen.. deep in thought. My sister came in – she had brought me blackberries. So I sat there at the table – eating blackberries and petting my beloved Gunther.

I held one of the berries in the palm of my hand. It was so delicate and fragile. This dark and beautiful object tasted so sweet.

I put it in my mouth – just for a moment

and then it was gone.

An Artist In Her Natural Habitat

me and gunther

Once upon a time I lived in an apartment with my dog, Gunther.

I spent most of my time sitting at my easel painting with Gunther at my side. This was my regular way of life, but apparently the management at my apartment complex likened this to some kind of side-show attraction. My apartment was a regular stop whenever they conducted a tour of the grounds with potential renters. Every so often, Gunther would leap up and draw my attention to the sliding glass doors. I would look behind me, and there would be a small group of people trying to peek in through the vertical blinds – with the tour guide pointing and gesturing into my apartment.

“We have an artist who lives here with her three-legged Dalmatian – Look, there she is!”

Mostly, I would just stare blankly at them and then go back to my painting.